Jane Doe: A name used on official records to identify an unidentified female cadaver.

We live in a technologically savy world where everything is on social media. In today’s age people hide behind computer screens and adopt new identities to fulfill their own agendas but mostly to be accepted by their peers. No one meets the real person behind the screen anymore but is simply introduced to who that person wants to be known as through their twitter/instagram names or posts.

Your popularity status is determined by what you post, how many retweets you get and how many followers you have.

In college I grew so many friends online before I even met them in person. You’re greeted by your social media name and it really isn’t until personal bonds are created that people ask for the real information. My social media name and persona around FIU was “Jane Doe”. Though I loved the identity that was created then and the friends that came after, I don’t believe too many people understood the deeper origin behind it. You can be creative when making names on social media but Jane Doe was apart of me. She was an unspoken new me that came as a rope to pull me out of the darkness and confusion that I was in.

Senior year of high school was honestly a disaster for me (how many can relate?). I participated in toxic behaviors, disrespected relationships, dealt with matters of miscommunication wrong and honestly didn’t respect myself.  DRAMA was all that I endured and it was really frustrating and strenuous to deal with sometimes. Some consequences I definitely had to endure as karma for my own actions while other instances seemed to come out of no where. Every time I turned around I was dealing with something negative but luckily, I can now see that He still used it all as a testimony.

Towards the end of senior year I was all alone with no friends by my side except for a small few. My world came crashing down, FAST.

I felt like a disappointment to myself, to those I looked to as friends and to God who I knew expected more out of me. So much to where I distanced myself from everyone in hopes that I would soon get my act together. It is my belief that true healing and deliverance comes when you no longer want to be in the driver seat of your life. I was finally tired and now on a mission to get back on the right track and with graduation approaching I decided college would be my new stepping stone. My new beginning where I would leave all the mistakes I made, all the mess and drama that was in Palm Beach and be better, do better & live better (#LevelUp).

Though that was my ultimate goal I had no idea where to start, what to do or who to even ask for help from.

I decided to turn to what helps me in any situation I go through and that is music. James Fortune had just released a new album entitled “Identity”  (perfect title for this situation right?) so I decided to take a listen. In hindsight, I believe that listening to this album from beginning to end was one of the best decisions because that album spoke to my soul and til’ this day I still pray, cry and worship to it.

It woke me up.

The third track on the album is entitled “Identity” and it spoke to my current life situation. It reminded me that I was taught to be a better person than who I was and that at some point there has to be a shift back in the right direction. It illustrated that no matter what, God will never turn His back on me like man did. I am the daughter of a King and I need to act like it! From that day forward I told myself I was going to be on the journey of regrouping, revamping, restoring and replenishing my entire identity. Removing what was not like Him and adding what He thought was best. I was on the move for a new identity thus Jane Doe was born.

Sitting here alone thinking of you
I’m blown away
You never gave up on me
Time after time I let you down
So caught up and focused on me
My own desires get in the way
I should be finding my purpose in you
So I can be what you have for me

The journey of identifying who I am, who I don’t want to be, recreating a stronger and better relationship with Christ, identifying ways to walk in a positive light and make better, conscious decisions are just a few of what “Jane Doe” brings. A fresh start comes with shedding the old and embracing the new. Jane Doe is confidently lost; fervently and intentionally finding the true essence of me. Social media became new, college was new and my entire mindset was new. I’m learning, living, reflecting and enjoying this “Jane Doe” person because she will help me appreciate the woman Ajai K. Johnson already is and will become.

What made you choose the name you have on social media? Was college a fresh beginning for you or was it something that just pushed you forward? Is your social media identity truly you or are you still hiding?

Until next time 

There are poisons that blind you, and poisons that open your eyes

– August Strindberg